Jordan Catalano is Hot

Seems like I have had some negative things to say about TV lately, and I’d like to set the record straight.  I like TV, and watch plenty of it.  In fact, I work in advertising.  On TV commercials.  For Comcast.  So yeah, I watch TV.  (And no, I don’t want to hear about your customer service problems.  But did you know that XFINITY On Demand offers 67,000 choices at the time of this writing?!  That’s 3x more than satellite!)

I think because this blog is specifically about my life as a reader, the guilt I feel when I watch too much TV tends to come out.  But there are plenty of shows I do like.  Loyal readers know that my favorite show of all time is Arrested Development.  The second best show ever is The Wire.  I don’t know my rankings 3 - 100 since that would take more time and thinking than I usually put into this blog. I do know that My So-Called Life would probably fall is the 5 – 7 range.  (Remember the Boiler Room episode?  With Jordan Catalano?  Oh boy.)

So, in closing please keep watching TV so I can keep my job. 

I Judge Your TV Choices, Health Department Judges My Restaurant Choices

The other day I was reading this really boring article about how to sleep better.  I have no idea why I was reading it, since I am the best sleeper I know and would be willing to challenge any of you to a Sleep-Off.  (Conditions: 1. I get to sleep in my own bed 2. Somehow World’s Best Dog Norman doesn’t lick my hand 35 times in a row at 7 am.)

Anyway, this lousy article said that watching TV before bed could lead to restless sleep, since you could be watching a cop show or something stressful like the news.  (In the case of Richmond, they have a point since the top news stories are always about devastating kitchen situations in my favorite restaurants.)  The article recommended that you read before bed. 

First of all, duh.  I have been reading before bed since I was approximately zero years old.  And secondly, how could this writer assume that watching TV, which is often a mind numbing activity, be any more stressful than an action packed or suspense-filled novel?  I'm pretty sure actual scientists have looked at this and determined that your brain shuts off completely when watching TV. 

I would like this person to read Résistance: A Woman's Journal of Struggle and Defiance in Occupied France by Agnes Humbert before getting some shut eye.  It’s a sweet little biography about a political prisoner that was tortured in a Nazi concentration camp.  Take that, SVU!  I thought it was an interesting story, but when I lent it to my Mom recently, her review was a scrunched up nose that doesn’t translate well to blogging.  Whether you like the book or not it is not exactly a bedtime story, whereas I think whatever is going on with those Kardashian ladies could put you right to sleep. 

Bookworm Is Happy To Be More Popular Than The Toaster Oven at Home

After Andrew and I walked World’s Best Dog Norman last night – which included a classy stop at the local liquor store for scotch – we came home and had some family reading time.  Andrew is my #1, but in his world, I think TV is his #1, and I hopefully fall in line before the coffeemaker.  (Obviously Norman is excluded in this weird ranking system of people and appliances.)  Even during reading time, Andrew likes to have the TV on mute.  I can understand it in a way when sports are on, like the Tour de France (I think?) that was on last night.  Wanting to glance up at the score makes sense to me.  But I have seen him do it even with a bad movie – he just wants moving pictures happening.  He’s so complex.

But even sports can’t tear him from the awesome book he is reading, Fall of Giants by Ken Follett.  This epic novel is the first in a trilogy.  It was released at Christmas, and I think the next two will conveniently drop at Christmastime this year and next (Santa, take note).  Fall of Giants was the only thing on my Christmas list delivered to my in-laws this year, and I finished it in January before starting this tolerable book blog that now boasts twenty-four followers (Marisa, I know you are reading this and could be lucky 25!).  It was the best book I have read so far this year, though there have been some other close contenders (I’m looking at you, Room).  The series will take place over the period of 100 years, and this first book only got through WWI.  That means the next book will take us through the Depression and WW2.  Merry Christmas everyone!

Honestly, Just Not My Best Work Here

This is Garnett's.
Best sandwiches in Richmond and
great place to spend $8 (or more).

I just downloaded the Kindle app onto my iPad because I found a book I wanted to read for only $2.99!  (Please note that I rarely use exclamation points and reserve them for either extreme sarcasm or something very deserving.  In this case, the latter.) I would have paid $15 to buy it “used like new 100% GUARANTEED great condition” and have it shipped.  Here are some options for what to do with my huge savings:

·         Buy 1.5 Summer Shandys at the next Nationals game I go to.

·         Select 4 more books to read on my free Kindle app even though it is summer and it is no fun to read the iPad outside.

·         Get a sandwich.  Most likely the Tomato & Mozzarella from Coppola’s or the Smoked Salmon sandwich at Garnett’s.

·         Shut up about it, my story about saving $12 is pretty boring.

Hmmm all of these are tempting options, but I think I will go with the likely unanimous decision of option D, and end this post here.

Bookworm Doesn’t Try Very Hard To Seek Truth

After a lazy Independence Day back at home, I finished The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory.  Gregory is best known for The Other Boleyn Girl, but this storyline came first since it was about Katherine of Aragon (who Anne Boleyn famously booted off the throne).

King Normy Upon His Royal Throne.

If I were to be a British Royal, I prefer the Wearing-Cute-Dresses-To-Canada-Duchess-of-Cambridge brand over the Faking-Love-And-Actually-Fighting-In-Armor kind that Queen Katherine of Aragon lived through in this book.  As of now, no one has really offered me the choice, so Norman remains King of my household, and I have committed to purchasing one lottery ticket (results to be revealed tomorrow).

This book was good, but it was a little longer than it needed to be and not as good as The Other Boleyn Girl.  Supposedly Gregory bases these books on history, but her Boleyn book did not align with the story as told in the Showtime series The Tudors, so I don’t know what really went down.  Surely there is no other way to get historical data other than premium cable and novels, right?  Especially for someone who gets their daily news from People.com.

Brian, Why Don’t You Read My Blog? Love, Your Sister



Husband and Brother may cheer for different teams,
but everyone agrees on delicious Summer Shandys.



As loyal readers know, reading and Pirates baseball are like peas and carrots in our house.  Nothing better defines a Tuesday night on Hanover Avenue, especially if you throw some ice cream in the mix.  There’s no denying that we live large.

This weekend, we took it up a notch.  We drove up to DC to see the Nationals play the Pirates.  And the Pirates won, which they do exactly half the time this season.  Non-sports fans, this is MAJOR.  The short trip included some quality time with my brother who is frighteningly behind in reading his beloved sister’s blog.  To entice him, this posting includes a picture of World’s Best Dog Norman.  

Please admire our patriotism and bravery for driving to the nation’s capital on 4^th of July weekend, which we could not have faced without our most recent audiobook.  I don’t think I can ever face 95 again without the cajoling tones of a British narrator.  I practically enjoyed that bland, soulless highway – all the ride really needed was more ice cream. 

Spoiled Dog enjoys new baseball toy to celebrate American Independence. 
Does not understand symbolism.

Profitable Dreams Welcome Here

Yesterday during some corporate feel goodery, we were challenged to think about what our dream is during the quarterly staff meeting.  It was quickly followed up by letting us know that we should pursue it on our own time unless it would be profitable for the Agency.  Nevertheless, it got me thinking.

One of my dreams is to win the lottery.  This is highly unlikely due to the statistical odds, especially when you take into account the fact that I do not play the lottery.  Luckily my friend Dave has pledged $3MM to Andrew and I if he wins “big” so we can be available for afternoon slip n’ slides and mid-week sandwich/beer consumption.  So let’s just say that steps have been taken to secure this dream.  (Note to self:  Confirm Dave actually plays the lottery.)

Another dream – and the one that came to mind first – is to write a book.  Here are my excuses for not starting this in any sense:

·         I have no ideas for a plot whatsoever.  (Click here for evidence.)

·         Based on the popularity of this blog, I don’t think there is what we marketers would call “demand.”

·         My writing is so interesting that my #1 Reader Kiley A) has known me since middle school and B) has demanded photos to sustain her interest.  Not a good sign.

·         Bookworm attention span falters by fourth paragraph.

In conclusion, if any of you have outlines for a four paragraph book idea, please submit through the rarely working (or so it would seem) “comments” feature on this blog.  I look forward to stealing from you.