Blogger Kills Two Birds, Uses But One Stone

Is this a blog about childrens’ books?  Lately, the answer is a resounding yes.  On Saturday my  Infamous Friend Who Prefers This Blog to Facebook is having a baby sprinkle.  I have never heard of this, but it is apparently a celebration for baby #2.  It’s a dumb name, but I agree with the idea in spirit, so I headed to Barnes & Noble yesterday to get this baby bookworm a bedtime story.

I picked out a few, which I won’t spoil on this blog (yet).  One however is from the Frances series by Russell Hoban.  I love these books, and they always make me think of My #1 Reader Who Can Literally Quote Content Kiley.

Kiley and I were not cool in high school.  Which is probably why we have cool jobs now (zing!)  Just kidding, Kiley is a barely paid intern. But since she just graduated from vet school she will have a cool job soon – if you call removing dog testicles a cool job, which she does.  Anyway, I digress. 

Kiley and I solidified our nerdom my participating in Forensics, which is speech competition.  Kiley did storytelling, and told the story of Bread and Jam for Frances, and I can still sing her intro word for word which is remarkable considering I don’t remember the names of most of my teachers.  So I will always associate her with the Frances series, starring a rodent I can’t identify.

I love it when a trip to Barnes & Noble lines up with a request (nay, a demand) that I blog about a Demanding But Faithful Reader.



This is Kiley and me at her wedding in June '08 - approximately 10 years after I told her to be a vet and she finally listened.



Favorite Hobbies Intersect: Reading and Making Fun of Phil

Readers, you may have noticed a recent pattern in my postings, which consists of pandering individually to friends to encourage their readership.  This is a lengthy, short sighted process that I am still continuing to hammer into this blog regardless of effectiveness.  One such Proclaimed Loyal Reader is my friend Erin.

Erin has audaciously claimed that my blog is “her new Facebook.”  That’s right, she cancelled her Facebook account and is instead fueling that extra time each day into reading this blog.  Then she pretty much demanded that I blog about her, which I am doing now.

Erin and her husband Phil are readers, so I like them.  They have recommended a few books to me over the years, and here is how I feel about them:

·         The Road by Cormac McCarthy.  Phil loves this book, but I am kind of annoyed by it.  I wanted more information about why the world was in such a state, and I thought the ending was lazy.  Kind of harsh, but honesty is important when aiming to overtake Facebook.

·         Mystic River  by Dennis Lehane. I never saw the movie, so I was excited to read this knowing nothing about it except for the fact it was good.  It was indeed good – nope, it was great actually, proving that Erin is a better book suggester than her husband for those like me who are keeping score.

·         Crazy for the Storm by Norman Ollestad.  I just read this one, so this was an easy bullet point to write.

·         The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.  I just ordered this on half.com, so it will make it onto this blog soon.  (Blatant attempt to beg Erin to keep reading this, however criticizing Phil in the first two bullet points was probably a more effective technique.)

I am not going to make an overarching comment about this couple’s book taste, since I am still working on a study/critique of their recommendations which has been fun so far.  But you know what is even more fun than reading good books recommended by friends? Beating Phil at things. With no relevant transition whatsoever, I am including Officially For The Record in this blog the fact that I am better than him at Cornhole, Ladder Golf and video games.

Blogger Almost Writes Post That Doesn’t Mention Beloved Dog; Saves It In Last Sentence

In a questionable move, while flying last week I decided to read a book about a plane crash.  This did not freak me out at all, since I am a big believer in the This Couldn’t Happen To Me theory.  But I was certainly impressed by the true story of survival as told in Crazy For the Storm by Norman Ollestad.  Actually the part that I liked the most wasn’t the tale of survival, but actually the stories and descriptions about the author’s dad, who was an amazing man and didn’t survive the plane crash. 

(Nerdy but fun book fact:  this guy’s dad was also named Norman Ollestad, and played one of the kids in the original Cheaper By the Dozen movie.  I really loved that book as a kid.  I don’t know why Steve Martin agreed to butcher it in a remake.  He should have rejected the script outright when he realized he would be acting alongside Miss Hillary Duff.)

I think that when you survive a plane crash, it’s probably easy to just mail it in on the book you write about it, but Ollestad didn’t do that.  The character study of his dad (since that is basically what it was) was really fascinating – a story that demanded writing.  And it didn’t hurt that both the author and his father share the first name of World’s Best Dog Norman.

Gratuitous Dog Photo

Pineapple Martini Acts as Enthusiastic Welcome for Fetus

My undoing

Loyal Readers will remember that I had a trip planned to Chicago for my Dearest Friend Kate's Baby Shower.  It happened, and it was great.  There were two showers and lots of fun conversation and catching up with her family, which is really my family too.  I am tempted to recap my favorite parts of the weekend, but am attempting to discipline myself and not stray too far away from the topic of this blog – books.  (And based on the number of pineapple martinis I had to celebrate the impending birth, it seems that I could use considerable practice in the area of self-discipline.)

One of the shower invitations suggested that attendees bring a book instead of a card, but this was a crew that did not need an excuse to give books which is probably why I like them.  (That and their talents with the pineapple.)  I wish I could remember the names of all the great books she got, but one stand out was It’s Not a Box by Antoinette Portis.  It was an adorable little book that encouraged kids to use their imagination – a box can be a building on fire or a city bus or a… you get the point. 

I love the idea of getting to enjoy my favorite books again with my future Baby Bookworms.  Here are the ones I am most excited about:

·         Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White – I love this book and the movie is great too.

·         The entire series of Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery.  That red head always made me laugh and cry.  My two favorite emotions in terms of reading.  Also a great movie.

·         The entire series of Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder.  That stuff never gets old.  Spoiler Alert:  I can’t stop thinking about when Laura’s sister What’s-Her-Face goes blind.  And I haven’t read it since the second grade.

·         The Grinch Who Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss.  This is the doctor at his finest in my mind.  I love the food eaten in Whoville at Christmastime. 

I could write this list forever, and since I am in airport mode I am tempted to do just that.  But my new resolution to be self disciplined requires that my blogs be short and sweet.  Short and sarcastic might be more achievable.

One of my gifts to Kate.  Her husband's response: "One can never be over dressed."

Sorry Readers, This One Is Actually About Books

Here are the things I say to people on planes:

- excuse me
- sorry
- stop clipping your fingernails
- that's a great book

Yes, this anti-social travel worn bookworm will risk reaching out to a fellow traveller if a book title is irresistible. Such an occurrence happened on my London > Chicago flight in the Economy Plus (inward groan) cabin.

We were fortunate to have an empty seat between us, and it was here amongst the extra shrink wrapped bedding that I spotted the book. (Oh how you spoil me Economy Plus, with your inches of extra leg room and your Everyman food trays). My travel companion is slowly reading The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom, a book I haven't thought about in 10 years, but highly recommend. Why she was watching Gulliver's Travels rather than finishing this book, I will never know.

Close friends and family know that I love World War II era memoirs, and this is a great one. It was originally recommended to me by At Least One Time Reader So He Says Dr. Paul Patton. Dr. Patton is the father of my good friend Jessica and is best known for packing a whole green pepper in her lunch bag (and other similar high school lunch curiosities) and performing my wedding service in June '09. He is a Christian pastor, and this book tells the true story of a Christian woman who saved Jews, and later brought her faith to a concentration camp. Although I read it a decade ago, I will always remember Corrie thanking God for fleas... You will have to read the book to find out why!

Hard to close with a typical snide remark with that story in mind. Though being in Economy Plus I should be full of them.

Straight Shooting Bookworm Avoids Lame But Tempting Parallel

On my already infamous First Class flight, I finished Eye of the Needle by Ken Follett.  It was an excellent read, as Follett’s books pretty much always are.  A suspenseful page turner with no dull moments or wasted words – much like my trip to London.

I was lucky to have several hours on Sunday to walk around the city and enjoy the most gorgeous day ever.  I left rainy Virginia for sunny and mild London – not sure what weather these blokes are always whining about.  But inevitably the glamorous international business trip also has its downside – 5 pm EST meetings are at 10 pm London local time.  And by then you sure to have had a stout or two, right?  Unless your boss is reading your blog, the answer is yes.

I’d like to make a parallel between my mixing business with pleasure in the UK with Follett’s dramatic novel, but I’m not sure that any part of juggling conference calls and boutique browsing aligns with hunting a notorious German spy across the English countryside.  None of my client meetings were quite that dramatic, but it would have been bloody convenient.

Bookworm Strives To Reverse Opinion of Airports, Urges Brother to Keep Reading

I am one lucky bookworm.  I am flying ton London on business today – yes, a Saturday – but you will find no negativity about airports in this post.  (Even though the first ridiculous leg of my flight is delayed an hour and 20 minutes, which is more time than the flight itself.  This does not count as a complaint; it is a statement of fact.)

I am in the middle of a great book that takes place in Jolly Old England as I head there in the First Class cabin.  The promise of flying First Class while reading a good book does not bode well for me getting the shut eye that I should get on this flight, since I’ll need to head to a meeting once I land – yes, on a Sunday. 

Did I write this post merely to mention my First Class trip to London?  Maybe.  Ok, yes.  But my Brother (and Occasional Yet Somewhat Reluctant Reader) prefers my posts to be less about the books themselves, and more about the Life of a Bookworm, which is indeed a key focus of this blog.  At this point I can’t afford to disappoint such a huge portion of my readership (my one lone sibling). 

So dear readers, rest assured that I will be at my bookwormiest over the next few hours from the First Class Cabin, as I mentioned.  And due to the lack of literary content in this post, I hope to receive at least some wary approval from my Brother (who should read more).

This is Something That Actually Happened

Brace yourselves, readers. 

Just when I was a bit bummed about my recent stats, the following crazy thing happened.  This is an actual quote, just to ensure I am getting the facts straight: “(Friend) told me you have a blog about books- is this rumor true?   (Aforementioned Friend) was hammered when he told so I’m confirming with you now- HAHA!”

So, to summarize, one of my friends told another of my friends that I am writing a book blog.  In the advertising business, we call this Word of Mouth.  Companies pay big bucks for this kind of thing.  So what you may think is idle bar gossip is actually the start of my Empire.

And then it got better.

Through this interaction it came up that Somebody I Don’t Know is interested in reading my blog because of a business selling eBooks that she started.  Now to be fair, this Somebody has not seen my content, and therefore any interest in it could easily wane upon reading. 

Unless in some rare twist of fate, this business’ target is my Mother.  In which case, this is the business opportunity of a lifetime.

Bookworm Aims to be Decent Wife; Succeeds

Once spring hits, Sundays have a steady rhythm at our house.  Usually you will find my husband gardening, me reading a book on the deck and yelling at him to take his shirt off, and World’s Best Dog Norman doing security checks around the premises.  Due to our hectic work schedules this week, I wanted to spend some Quality Time with the hubs, so I decided to help out with the gardening this week in lieu of a relaxing afternoon read.

After I volunteered, Andrew told me I had just pulled “landscaping duty” and assigned me to weed pulling, while he dug up tree stumps FROM THE ALLEY.  Yes, the man even gardens our alley.  Apparently we are growing pumpkins and sunflowers back there.  I hope our garbage men appreciate it.

I’m pretty sure I did a few hours of weeding at the beginning of the season last year, then quickly learned my lesson and realized I belonged on the deck chairs, not in the flower beds.  I think that the next weekend I’m home I will focus my efforts on fetching beers and complimenting Andrew’s successes rather than steal any of his thunder by beautifying the garden myself. 

I mean honestly, how would I feel if he started an unsuccessful book blog?

Blogger Parties Toddler-Style

Saturday night we attended a friends’ birthday party.  These friends (and non-blog readers) have always enjoyed throwing fun parties in their enormous backyard.  But last night’s party was the beginning of a new era.  An era of strollers, squeaky toys and sippy cups.  The people I have met so many times in a fierce game of beer pong were now invited to bring their mini-me kids along since the host has a newborn.  Oh how times have changed.

The experience was a stark comparison to my quiet Sunday morning at home finishing the other short stories in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.  A Diamond Guitar was my favorite story – I think Capote must just have an expertise in prison stories.  I like his knack for a surprise ending, much like we had at the party last night.

We left by 10 pm, and slept like babies.

It's Nice to Know When You've Peaked

The good thing about this blog traffic chart is that is impossible to have negative views.  So if you accidentally click on this blog - ha!  You can't take it back.  Though it looks like a lot of people in March would have liked to...



Self-Proclaimed Bookworm Confuses Classic Literature with Bad 90s Music

I am working in New York this week, which inevitably sounds more glamorous than it is.  Due to the long work hours, I have spent my free time snoozing more often than reading.  But I’ve had a classic NYC read with me, borrowed from Best Friend Kate.  Each time I snooze, I have Truman Capote’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s lying ignored on my night table / bed table / belly.  It’s a book of short stories, and I have made it through only the first so far, which is the book’s namesake. 

At 111 pages, it is kind of long for a short story and, um, kind of long in general.  I want to love this book because it makes me think of classy things like Audrey Hepburn and big diamonds and 1960s modern fashion.  I really loved In Cold Blood so I thought this was a surefire winner.  And also, I’m pretty sure this is a critically acclaimed book that is all famous and whatnot among the New York Magazine crowd.  But let’s be honest – I’m not in that crowd.  I am in the crowd that gave a rave review to a book called Kick Me and featured storylines about cross dressing and locker room showers.

So, here’s my honest opinion.  Breakfast at Tiffany’s has a good story, but I just don’t love it.  It drags on, and I think the editor could have gotten more aggressive.  I’m also embarrassed to admit I keep thinking of the song of the same name from 1995, which is really getting on my nerves.

Fortunately, I don’t think any readers of New York Magazine read this blog, or were considering me for book reviews.  Especially now that I’ve admitted to sleeping on the job.

Kate, Don’t Read This Blog Until After Your Shower

Actually Kate, I am pretty convinced you aren’t reading these at all.  And despite the fact that you approved the name “Paperback Bookworm” it seems that you are not getting the residual teasing that come with it.  Quite the convenient relationship you are having with this blog…

Back to the matter at hand – books.  My best friend / college roommate Kate is preggo with a baby boy, and is having a baby shower in her home state of Indiana.  I LOVE it when people ask for books as part of their showers.  And though Pat the Bunny certainly has its audience, I almost always go for a personal favorite – a book that I can actually remember liking.

Though it is really meant for a little kid and not a baby, I absolutely love Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst.  (This time it was a particularly worthy choice since I had a case of the grumps when I bought it.)  It’s so sweet to hear what makes a day disastrous for a little kid.  Isn’t it tough to be 7? 

Just wait til Alexander becomes a book blogger.  Then he’ll know tough. 

Grumpy Blogger Fumes on Internet, (Almost) Gets Over It

It’s a beautiful Sunday and I am grumpy.  After what should have been a simple 30 minute conference call this morning ran over by TWO HOURS I started a mental list of grievances in “woe is me” fashion.  I will spare you this unentertaining and I-don’t-appreciate-how-good-I-have-it list, dear readership.  But please note that the list ranges from missing my cousin’s wedding right before he leaves for Afghanistan to the irritating location of a birdhouse in our backyard.  Perhaps I spent too much time crafting this list.

On my to do list was a trip to Barnes & Noble but due to said mood, it was an in-and-out trip that resulted in a book for a friend, and nothing for the Bookworm herself.  Unheard of.  I was grateful that the courteous employees and shoppers at B&N let me shop and grump in peace, despite being one of the hottest book bloggers within a 5 mile radius of this location.  There were no awkward confrontations about why a children’s book was my only purchase or interrogations about my next read.

I knew the quickest way to get over my grumpiness was to quickly finish my errands, and enjoy my beautiful backyard on a beautiful day.  So that is what World’s Best Dog Norman and I are doing.  I blog, he rolls in bird crap.  Which perhaps deserves just one more minute of grumpiness.

In case there were any questions about how I look when blogging grumpily in the backyard.