Bad Novel & Dirty Kitchen Floor = Not My Best Wednesday Night

If I were you, I wouldn’t read Between Here and April by Deborah Copaken Kogan.  It is overly dramatic, depressing and the ending… well, the book just stopped.  It’s possible that they forgot to print the last chapter.  I rolled my eyes a lot, which is not easy to do when you are reading.  What can I say, I am a multi-tasker.

There is a big difference between a sad book and a depressing book in my mind.  I like to be inspired by sad stories of overcoming perseverance, especially when they are true.  But reading a fictitious novel about a yuppie who is unsatisfied and whiny about absolutely everything is just not really a good time.  Especially when this woman has a never ending list of troubles that range from minor to extreme.  Wow, really?  That one time you were gang raped by a group of Eastern Europeans doesn’t even come up until the last quarter of the book?  Ok fine, the complexities of your daughters bringing cupcakes to school just falls higher on your list.  Boy did that come up a lot.

Last night I scrubbed my kitchen floor and read this book.  The book part was better, but the mopping left me more satisfied.  Burn!

A Reluctant Guest Post

Below is my first Guest Post from Anonymous Follower Lane Yates.  It has been copied and pasted from a gchat, like all literary commentary of note:    

“After merciless teasing from A OX, I finally broke down and read a book. I read The Help, but mostly because it is being turned in to a movie and I want to see the movie."

And there you have it folks.  A truly remarkable breakdown of modern literature that just oozes with respect for all things Bookworm.  You're a real piece of work, Lane!

Bookworm Gets On High Horse; Rides It

I'm not just jealous I can't afford
a Marc Jacobs bag*
*ok a little jealous about that

This ad offends me as a Bookworm, and as a Lady Who Works In Advertising.  The overt reference to the controversial novel Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov is about as subtle as a punch in the face.  And just as classy in my mind. 

Perhaps the marketing team was trying to get some buzz on moderately popular book blogs, in which case this constitutes success. 

As much as I appreciate both a literary reference and a beautiful perfume bottle, I wish Dakota Fanning’s parents had interjected on this one.  But maybe she was paid in purses, which would probably be hard to resist.

Mob Week on AMC Feels Like At Least A Month

I’ve often wondered what it is like to write a book.  Particularly a Big Thick Book.  I’m sure some kind of outline is written first so the plot is roughly figured out beforehand.  It probably changes as the writer gets to “know” the characters, but the rough storyline is likely sketched out before the actual writing of sentences begins in earnest.  (Unlike this blog I might add.  I have no idea where this is going.)

When reading my latest Big Thick Book, The Gold Coast I found myself thinking about author Nelson DeMille’s writing process.  For example, nothing happens in the first 248 pages.  Surprisingly this is okay, because his character building is so interesting and often funny.  And considering how much happens in the last 20 pages, I can’t help but wonder if DeMille sort of thought to himself “let’s get this show on the road” while he was pecking out page 734 and stubbing out a cigarette directly on his desk.  This is total conjecture since I don’t know this guy and have no clue if he smokes, or if he has a desk.

Bottom line, this is a good book and I think it would appeal to guys in particular because of the Mafioso storylines.  So Andrew, let’s agree to turn off Mob Week on AMC with promos by Rudy Giuliani and read The Gold Coast instead.  And by turn it off, I mean “fuhged-about-it.”

I Knew There Was a Reason For All Those Martinis

Loyal readers may remember when I showed a large pitcher of pineapple martinis who was boss a few months ago.  The toast of that baby shower (and no one toasted more than me) is finally here!  Welcome to the world, Asher James Vidinsky!  You are so loved already.  And congrats to the happy parents, Nick & Kate for bringing such a beautiful little man into the world – he is ready for the bookshelf that has been stocked for months.

I am ready for books as soon as my eyes can open.

Friend Makes Departing Promise

Natalie, "may the odds be ever in your favor."
Book jokes!
photo credit: Lucky

It’s a sad day for any reader when they learn a book friend is moving.  Loyal Blog Reader Natalie is leaving Richmond for an exciting new life in Nashville. 

When losing a Book Friend, you may go through a rollercoaster of emotions.  Like panic – I thought we had plans to see The Hunger Games movie in March 2012?!  Or, do you think I’ll get my books back?  (Like South of Broad: A Novel by Pat Conroy which is a good read but as I’ve said it’s no The Prince of Tides.)

Maybe you’ll feel a sudden flood of honesty.  Natalie, I didn’t love The Zookeepers Wife by Diana Ackerman as much as you did.  I mean, it’s a good story but it started off too slow and it dragged a little!

All in all, you should focus on the good times.  Remember when you had to get up at 9 am on a Sunday to lend me an eBook on your Nook?  Ah, the good old days.

I am now gunning for Words With Friends Rival and Blog Reader Courtney to go see The Hunger Games with me in March.  Natalie, I hope you can join us.  Even if you cannot make the trip back, I will hold you to your promise of recruiting new blog followers.  Good luck making friends after that recommendation!

Blogger Makes Excuses; Forms Numbered List

Early last week, after two busy weekends in a row, Andrew and I had no real plans for this weekend. I envisioned lounging, giving World’s Best Dog Norman belly rubs, and making significant progress on my Big Thick Book. Here are the top 3 reasons that didn’t happen this weekend:

1. Impromptu Goodbye – I spent most of Saturday grocery shopping, food prepping, and preparing my house for a semi-impromptu goodbye party for a friend. It’s amazing when you try to view your own house through someone else’s eyes to get it “ready.” Have we had a tomato-growing box set in our dining room all summer? The answer is yes. Anyway, an evening of good friends, food and casual low stakes dice gambling made it all worth it.

2. Impromptu Birthday – On Sunday, we went out to Goochland for a family afternoon of roast beef, ice cream cake and swimming pool splash festival to celebrate Non-Blog Reader Brian’s birthday. Nothing makes me look better in a bikini that a pre-pool meal of beef and potato salad.

3. Impromptu Photo Session – Despite the lack of reading time, I always find time to take photos like this:

Norman enjoys new rug; looks cool in wayfarers