Two Unrelated Items; One Blog Posting

Item #1:  I saw Bridesmaids this weekend with one of my bridesmaids (and Blog Reader, more importantly).  That movie is hilarious.  It was directed by Paul Feig, whose book I gave a rave review on this very blog.  That guy is on fire – I don’t think he even needs promotion from this blog.  In fact, I bet he doesn’t even remember writing Kick Me at this point.



My bridesmaids & me.



Item #2: Longtime Non-Reader and Anonymous Blog Fan Lane Yates bought her first book The Help by Kathryn Stockett.  I am going to take 100% credit for this, despite possibly losing her friendship by posting her name on this increasingly popular book blog.

Does posting a picture of Anonymous Blog Fan at her wedding tie these two posts together?  Eh, not really.  But I bet Paul Feig could have figured out how to do it.



Anonymous Reader marries.  Later goes on to purchase first book.



Readership Gets Increasingly Demanding of Beloved Bookworm

My #1 Blog Reader (other than my Mom) was in town to visit this weekend, and gave me some constructive blog criticism which I readily accepted.  After the scathing reviews I have been known to give books, I should be able to take a little advice as well.  Sure, I don’t expect people to pay $13.95 to read this in paperback or $24.95 for the hardback edition but I am still committed to my no longer plummeting(!) readership.

Someone Who Doesn't Have a Blog But Is Full of Advice & World's Best Dog Norman

Her advice: more pictures.  Therefore included in today’s blog is a photo of #1 Blog Reader and World’s Best Dog Norman.  I am taking this advice seriously, and not pushing back with arguments like “reading is not exactly a photogenic activity” or “where’s your blog, Mrs. Perfect”?  That’s just not my style.

Back to reading.  Here are the three books I lent to #1 Reader, since she always gives them back to me when she is finished:

·         Round Ireland with a Fridge by Tony Hawks.  This is rapidly becoming one of my lent books and you are probably sick of hearing me write about it, loyal readers.

·         Empress Orchid by Anchee Min.  I think this book was based on the true story of a girl who went from poverty to the Empress of China.  I like books about Asian royalty – the opulence, interesting traditions and creepy food are fascinating.

·         On Hitler's Mountain: Overcoming the Legacy of a Nazi Childhood by Irmgard A. Hunt.  You know I love a good memoir.  This one is about a girl whose parents were Nazis and she was brought up on the mountain where Hitler’s headquarters were located.  Very interesting (and true) story.

#1 Blog Reader, I hope you enjoy these books. Even though there aren’t pictures in them.

Flying Private = Bonding Time with Co-Workers & Jim Beam

Private planes likely make you think of caviar, champagne, and Fergie singing “G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S.”  It makes me think of cold chicken fingers and not reading.

This week I flew to Philadelphia for the day with colleagues to visit clients.  This is notable because it is the only flying situation I can think of when I don’t even bring a book.  You read that right.  Flying private means NO airport security lines, NO waiting and NO leg room (the first two items being more notable).  As I sat knee-to-knee across from a Co-Worker Who Has Never Heard Of This Blog, I realized how awkward it would be to pull out a big honkin’ novel and dive in.  No way, let’s talk about business stuff.

Flying private sounds glamorous thanks to Fergie Ferg, and it is from a convenience stand point.  But when you are actually in that tuna can in the sky eating snacks that are better served hot and playing footsie with your co-workers it’s really more funny than anything.  Especially after two plastic bottles of Jim Beam.

Warning: Robust Posting About Books Ahead; Seriously Guys a Lot of Bookish Stuff Written Here

Here’s the thing – sometimes I like to read a really big fat book.  A deep dive into the characters and story that you just lose yourself in and get to enjoy for a long time.  This doesn’t bode well for a full time employee that also maintains a book blog.  That’s the place I am in now.  So, to buy myself some time I am making an Unofficial List of Big Thick Books That I Like.  Among my favorites are:

·         The Winds of War by Herman Wouk – this book is freaking awesome, as is the equally big fat sequel War & Remembrance.  It tells the story of World War II through the life of an American family who ends up involved in the most historic parts of the war (sort of the way Forrest Gump did, but without the humor).  I wish I knew more adjectives that meant “awesome” because this is one of the best books ever.  It was written in the 70s, and it was actually given to me by a director of a commercial I was working on.  He heard I liked reading and in particular WW2 memoirs, and figured I would like this fictitious series.  That guy was dead right. 

·         Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell.  I read this book in the fifth grade, and want to read it again one day since it is so good.  The longer, more in-depth story that the book tells is better than the movie, which I know is an annoying observation.  Scarlett, the Sequel to Margaret Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind by Alexandra Ripley was also long, but not memorable.

·         Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett and the sequel World Without End – what’s with all of these super long books having sequels?  Each of these are a thousand pages, which clearly is not enough for these fantastically verbose authors.  But I digress.  I love this book and almost everything written by Follett.  This book in particular is such a carefully crafted story with wonderful characters that you want to either hug or punch.  It was written in the 80s but re-popularized by Oprah when it made her Book Club right before the sequel was released.  (Notable aside:  Kitty Kelley’s book Oprah almost fits into the Big Thick Book Category and is a great read as well.  That chick was naughty!)  

·         The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged – both by Ayn Rand.  Rand is an extremist, though I like her point of view on the most basic level: Do your best at what you are good at;  Let others do the same without restriction.  Politics aside, the woman is a killer storyteller.  Sure, some of the speeches go on a bit long, but well worth the read.  I have read all of her books and wish she had written more, but these two are certainly the most famous and wonderful.  They are two separate stories, not sequential like my first three bullets.

·         Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy – just kidding.  This book was long and depressing as hell, but I feel like I deserve some credit for reading it to completion and not throwing myself in front of a train.

Ironically my reviews of Big Thick Books have gone on far too long.  Therefore I am assured a thumbs down review from Reluctant Readers Husband and Brother, who most likely won’t make it through this post.  Joke’s on them – I am recommending Anna Karenina to those guys for their annual reads.

Blogger’s Sense of Accomplishment Likely Short Lived

I have finished all three books in the Hunger Games series now.  Predictably, I liked the first book best, then the second book, and rounding out the series in last place is Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins.  Once the books became about political intrigue in this bizarre country called Panem, I was much less interested.  Overall, I am glad I pushed through and read the whole series – I would be kind of a joke as a blogger if I didn’t.  Just kidding, I am a joke as a blogger already.

Reading Mockingjay beneath freshly hung painting by talented mother-in-law

Epic Sunday Walk Results in Snoozing Dog & Breaking Book News

Two things happened on my Super Sized Sunday Walk with World’s Best Dog Norman:



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Worn Out Dog Post-Walk



1.       Ladies fawned over my little mutt and suggested that we breed Normans.  This is often suggested, but is unfortunately a scientific impossibility.  What I should do is hire Norman out to stroll the ‘hood with single guys looking to meet ladyfriends.

2.       I saw that my neighborhood library is closed for renovations.  This is an exciting development in the Life of a Bookworm.



I have always been a big library user, which stemmed from my parents requiring us to visit the bookmobile when it came to our neighborhood every Tuesday.  That plan could have backfired big time, but somehow it didn’t.  Even my brother makes an effort to read a book each and every year.

When I lived in Chicago, I was a frequent visitor to the Lincoln Park Public Library, even though I lived one block from a big, beautiful multi-level Borders where I did more damage than my salary really could handle.  But since I have lived in Richmond, I have only been to my neighborhood library once – to get a library card.  There was nothing appealing about the place, which it looks like they have noticed. 

The website doesn’t say when the renovations will be finished AND their blog has no entries – off to a rough start, Belmont.

The Belmont Branch Library misses the 70s.



Audience Demands Reading Amidst Difficult Conditions; Blogger Grovels As Usual

I got a little bit of heat yesterday from my now famous Anonymous Friend Who is a Blog Reader But Not a Book Reader for not having posted since Monday.  So last night when my power shut off for 2 minutes, I was glad I didn’t have to put my glowing iPad down – I could resume reading on my Nook app.  There’s a product benefit you never hear in commercials.

In closing, please don’t give up on my blog.  I am reading as fast as I can, and think each of you are smart, pretty and interesting – whichever of those compliments is most relevant.